100 MAIN INDEX 160 WEATHER

103 FOXY NEWS 170 LISTINGS

180 CINEMA 200 SPORT

300 ENTERTAINMENT 350 GAMES

404 AGE VERDICT 700 SUPPORT

888 SUBTITLES 999 SERVICE TEST

HIDDEN PAGES MAY EXIST. KEVIN DENIES THIS.

1 FOXY SEEN UNDERSTANDING A FAX MACHINE

2 UNEXPLAINED DRAWER OF CABLES DISCOVERED

3 LOCAL MAN SAYS "BACK IN MY DAY" UNPROMPTED

4 VHS TRACKING KNOWLEDGE RAISES QUESTIONS

NEWSROOM VERDICT: OLDNESS CONFIRMED

SOURCE PENDING

18:00 TEA AND REMOTE CONTROL SEARCH

19:30 EXPLAINING HOW THINGS USED TO BE

20:00 PUTTING ON A FILM HE HAS SEEN 14 TIMES

21:45 MYSTERY KNEE NOISE

22:00 "I'M NOT OLD" REPEAT

TONIGHT'S FEATURES:

301 FILMS FOXY CLAIMS WERE BETTER BEFORE

302 SONGS HE KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO

303 MEMORIES WITH UNCLEAR DATES

304 THINGS THAT WERE "BUILT TO LAST"

701 EMERGENCY CARDIGAN ADVICE

702 HOW TO USE A MODERN REMOTE

703 KNEE NOISE TRIAGE

704 "WHERE DID I PUT MY GLASSES?"

[FOXY ENTERS ROOM]

FOXY: I'M NOT OLD.

NARRATOR: HE WAS OLD.

FOXYTEXT SIGNAL OK

OLDNESS DETECTOR OK

YOUTH CACHE MISS